3 Scientifically Proven Paths to Happiness
(And Why the Most Important One Might Surprise You)
For centuries, humans have asked the same essential question:
What does it really mean to live a good life?
As therapists, teachers, and lifelong students of psychology—and as partners building a life together—we’ve spent years exploring that question both professionally and personally. What we’ve discovered is both reassuring and challenging:
There isn’t just one path to happiness.
In fact, research in positive psychology points to three distinct, scientifically supported paths to a fulfilling life. Most of us pursue one or two. Very few intentionally cultivate all three.
This post is about what those paths are—and how choosing the third changed everything for us.
Path 1: The Pleasant Life (Happiness & Hedonism)
This is the path most people chase first.
The pleasant life is built on:
- Positive emotions
- Enjoyment
- Comfort
- Pleasure
- Satisfaction
Good food. Great sex. Travel. New cars. Beautiful homes. A well-earned glass of wine at the end of the day.
And to be clear—we’re fans of pleasure. Positive emotions matter. Joy matters.
But there’s a psychological catch.
The Hedonic Treadmill
Humans adapt very quickly to both good and bad circumstances. That brand-new car that once thrilled you? Within weeks or months, it becomes… normal.
This phenomenon—called hedonic adaptation—means pleasure fades unless we consciously work to notice and savor it.
Without awareness, the pleasant life can quietly turn into:
- Chasing the next upgrade
- Needing more intensity for the same payoff
- Feeling oddly empty despite “having it all”
Mindfulness and gratitude are the antidotes here. Slowing down. Savoring. Letting pleasure linger instead of rushing past it.
Still, even when done well, pleasure alone isn’t enough.
Path 2: The Meaningful Life (Purpose & Contribution)
The second path is about meaning.
This is the life fueled by:
- Purpose
- Contribution
- Service
- Values
- Making a difference
Meaning often shows up through:
- Work that matters
- Raising children
- Helping others
- Creating something larger than yourself
- Serving something larger than yourself
During some of the hardest seasons of our lives, meaning has been what carried us through. Even when life felt painful or uncertain, contributing to others created a sense of steadiness and direction.
But meaning has its own shadow.
When overdone, it can lead to:
- Burnout
- Narrowness
- Neglecting relationships
- Self-sacrifice at the cost of joy
Meaning without pleasure can become rigid. Purpose without presence can disconnect us from the very people we love most.
Which brings us to the third path—the one that changed how we think about everything.
Path 3: The Psychologically Rich Life
(The One No One Talks About)
Psychologist Shigehiro Oishi introduced a third answer to Aristotle’s ancient question: What is the good life?
Beyond happiness. Beyond meaning.
He calls it the psychologically rich life.
This life is defined by:
- Novelty
- Variety
- Challenge
- Complexity
- Perspective shifts
A psychologically rich life isn’t necessarily comfortable—or even always pleasant.
But it is deeply alive.
It’s a life where you don’t just feel good or do good.
You are changed by what you live.
Why Psychological Richness Matters
Some of the most impactful experiences in our lives weren’t easy:
- Transitions
- Uncertainty
- Big leaps
- Emotional risk
- Getting lost (sometimes literally)
And yet, these are the moments that expanded us the most.
Psychological richness comes from:
- Leaving routine
- Saying yes to the unfamiliar
- Allowing yourself to be humbled, stretched, and surprised
- Letting your identity evolve
It’s the difference between living on repeat…
and living a story you’ll tell for the rest of your life.
Why We’re Looking to Moving to Portugal (At Least Part-time!)
Our decision to explore life abroad didn’t come from dissatisfaction.
Our life is good. Meaningful. Full of love.
But at some point, we realized:
If we don’t disrupt our comfort, nothing new can emerge.
Portugal represents:
- A break from routine
- Cultural immersion
- Slower rhythms
- New language, customs, and challenges
- A life that invites us to grow in unexpected ways
We don’t know exactly how long we’ll stay.
We don’t know all the answers.
What we do know is this:
Psychological richness requires courage.
And courage, practiced intentionally, creates aliveness.
You Don’t Have to Move Countries to Live Richly
Psychological richness isn’t about geography—it’s about orientation.
You can cultivate it by:
- Traveling differently (not just vacations, but immersion)
- Having deeper conversations with strangers
- Learning something that challenges your identity
- Saying yes to experiences you’d normally avoid
- Disrupting autopilot
- Doing things “for the plot”
Sometimes it’s as simple as:
- Taking a different route
- Listening instead of assuming
- Letting yourself be changed
The Invitation
So here’s our invitation to you:
Ask yourself:
Where do I rely too heavily on comfort?
Where might I be over-indexed on meaning at the cost of joy?
Where am I craving novelty, challenge, or expansion?
A fulfilling life isn’t about choosing one path.
It’s about weaving all three:
- Pleasure
- Purpose
- Psychological richness
And remembering that love—while essential—isn’t enough on its own.
A rich life requires presence, courage, and willingness to be changed.
Here’s to living fully.
Here’s to choosing the deeper story.
Here’s to creating a psychologically rich life.
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