Depression is the worst houseguest. It barges in uninvited, devours all your emotional snacks, zaps your energy, steals your joy, and then whispers, “You’ll never feel better again.” Oh, and it tries to convince you you’re the only poor soul who’s ever felt this bad.
Spoiler alert: That’s absolute B.S.
According to a 2023 Gallup poll, depression rates have jumped significantly. Over 21 million American adults have experienced at least one major depressive episode. Nearly 18% of U.S. adults say they’re currently struggling with depression. And 22% have been diagnosed with it at some point. That’s not rare—it’s basically a nationwide group chat called “Ditto.”
Depression doesn’t care who you are. It doesn’t matter your age, gender, background, or how shiny your Meredes is. It can hit anyone, anytime. Genetics, chronic stress, toxic relationships, a full moon—it all counts. So no, this isn’t your fault. As a psychologist, I’ve battled depression more than once. If you find yourself sinking, here’s what I do to pull myself back up.
1. For Men, Depression Often Looks Like Irritability
For guys, depression rarely shows up as tears and tissues. Instead, it’s irritability, impatience, blame, and isolation. So if you’re in a constant pissy mood, ask yourself:
“Could I be depressed?”
“Do I feel hopeless?”
“Does it seem like nothing I do makes a difference?”
“Am I irritable for no/little reason?”
If yes, that’s depression talking. And that’s OK. Depression doesn’t care what bathroom you use—it’s an equal-opportunity soul-sucker. The first step? Awareness.
2. I Stop Emotionally Gaslighting Myself
When depression hits, your inner critic gets loud:
“Why do I feel this way?” “Why am I so out of sorts?” “Others have it way worse. I shouldn’t feel like this.” “Stop being so weak.”
Here’s your permission slip: It’s OK to feel like shit.
Sadness is human. Self-compassion isn’t weakness—it’s strength.
Try telling yourself:
“Even now, I’m still a good person going through a rough time. This will pass.” “This is rough AND I can handle this.”
You wouldn’t yell at a puddle for evaporating in the sun. Don’t do it to yourself. Water your own emotional garden.
3. I Set Stupidly Simple, Kind Goals
When you’re depressed, brushing your teeth can feel like scaling Everest. So don’t aim for “win the day.” Shoot for “survive the next 20 minutes.” Try:
“Walk around the block.”
“Go to the gym and just stretch.”
“Step outside for some fresh air.”
Tiny wins add up. Get out of the cave. That’s the goal.
4. I Journal the Chaos Out of My Head
Journaling isn’t just for singer-songwriters. It’s proven to reduce stress, anxiety, and boost mood.
Think of it as emotional purging—dump it all out. No grammar rules. No judgment. Just raw truth. (And maybe hide it somewhere safe.)
5. I Move My Body, Even If It’s Just a Little
When your brain feels like molasses, movement helps. Even a zombie walk to the mailbox counts.
You don’t need six-pack abs—just proof you’re not made entirely of sadness.
Movement = mood magic.
6. I Touch Grass—Literally
Nature is free therapy. Sit under a tree. Walk barefoot. Sunbathe like a lazy cat.
Perspective + fresh air = powerful reset.
A bad day outside still beats a good one under fluorescent lights. Science agrees.
7. I Binge Nostalgia
Sometimes healing looks like reruns of Ted Lasso or Friends.
Comfort TV calms the brain—it’s familiar, predictable, and soothing.
2003 vibes and MySpace energy? Yes, please.
8. I Reach Out Instead of Checking Out
Depression lies: “Nobody wants to hear your crap. You’re a burden”
Truth? Other people care.
Text a friend. Call someone. Talk to your dog. Say “hi” to the cashier.
Connection is medicine.
9. I Get My Ass to Therapy
If you had diabetes, you’d see a doctor. Same rule applies here.
Therapy is strength, not weakness. Even therapists go to therapy (yes, I do).
Book the session before you’re in full crisis mode.
Need someone? Try me or Joree Rose, LMFT—we’ve got you.
10. I Avoid Emotional Landmines
Some stuff will make you feel worse.
Scrolling Instagram. Narcissistic uncles. Rage-tweeting. Three glasses of wine plus Phoebe Bridgers.
Start noticing your emotional triggers—and cut them off. No guilt required.
11. I Don’t Wait to “Feel Better” Before Acting
Waiting for motivation is like waiting for Bigfoot to text back.
Take action first. Feelings will catch up.
You don’t have to want to walk—just start walking.
Future You will be grateful.
12. I Take Medication If I Need It—No Shame
Sometimes your brain needs backup. Meds aren’t failure—they’re fuel.
I’ve taken antidepressants. I still do. They help. Like glasses help your vision.
And if you’ve tried meds and they flopped? Look into psychedelic therapy. Research shows psilocybin can outperform antidepressants for many of us. It’s worth exploring.
13. I Reconnect With My Inner 8-Year-Old Goofball
Remember joy before bills and burnout?
Skateboards. Marco Polo in the pool. Cloud-gazing.
Whatever lit you up as a kid—do more of that.
No adulting required. Rediscover fun.
14. Emotions Are Like Tunnels—You Gotta Walk All the Way Through
Emotions, like tunnels, have a beginning, middle, and end. But here’s the catch: most of us get uncomfortable halfway in and try to turn back. We exit the way we came—leaving the emotion stuck inside, unresolved and festering.
To truly move forward, you have to *feel* the hard stuff. Sit with the sadness. Let the anger, grief, or fear move *through* you.
Ask yourself:
“What is this feeling trying to teach me?”
Depression often shows up when something in your life needs to change—setting a boundary, quitting a toxic job, leaving a dead-end relationship, finally speaking up.
Emotions are messengers, not enemies.
So before you try to numb out, ask:
What’s this emotion asking of me?
Then keep walking. The only way out is through.
Final Thought: You Can’t Bully Yourself Into Joy
Guilt and self-criticism won’t heal you. Compassion will.
Be kind. Be curious. Be patient.
Even in your darkest moments, tools exist. Help is real.
You’re not broken—you’re human.
Let’s evolve together.
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